Best discreet dating apps: 7 options compared fairly

The best discreet dating apps hide your face from strangers, never require your real name, protect your chats and leave little trace on your phone. No app does all of that equally well, and each one is built for a different kind of person. Below are seven options, including our own app, Ohrny, with what each does well, who it suits and what to keep in mind. Competitor details were checked against their own websites, app store listings and public records at the time of writing; features change, so confirm in the app before you rely on any of them.

A quick note on fairness: Ohrny comes first because this is our blog. We have tried to describe every other app the way we would want ours described, including its strengths.

How we judged discretion

We looked at the same six questions for every app. They are explained in more detail in our guide to the most private dating apps.

1. Face: are photos visible to strangers by default?
2. Name: is a real name required or shown?
3. Visibility: can you limit who sees you (incognito, contact blocking)?
4. Chats: is there screenshot protection or disappearing content?
5. Phone: does the app help with notifications, the icon or a quick exit?
6. Track record and data: what is publicly known about how the company handles data?

The best discreet dating apps at a glance

"Not verified" means we could not confirm the feature from an official or reliable source, not that it is missing.

1. Ohrny

Who it is for: adults who want hookups or affairs and do not want anyone outside the conversation to find out. Ohrny does not ask about relationship status.

Privacy features: every photo is blurred by default and revealed only when both people tap "I'm ready". You use an anonymous handle, and profiles are not indexed by search engines. Chats have a screenshot shield and optional disappearing messages that delete after 24 hours on both phones and on the server. Voice and video calls run in the app, with video blurred until the reveal. Plus adds incognito mode and hiding your age and distance; Platin adds blocking your phone contacts. App disguise and a panic gesture cover the phone itself.

Business model: subscriptions (Plus and Platin), free for women, no ads and no data sold. Members can verify with a selfie check.

Keep in mind: Ohrny is a newer app, so the pool is smaller than on established services, especially outside big cities.

2. Ashley Madison

Who it is for: people who are married or in relationships and want a service built explicitly around affairs. It is the best-known name in the category and has operated since the early 2000s.

What it does well: brand recognition and a clear purpose; nobody on it needs to explain why they are there. Independent reviews describe privacy tools such as photo blurring and masks, and discreet billing descriptors.

Business model: according to public sources, Ashley Madison uses credits rather than a classic subscription for men, and reviews describe core features as free for women.

Keep in mind: in 2015 attackers published profile, account and billing data for more than 36 million users, according to the US Federal Trade Commission. In 2016 the operators settled with the FTC, 13 US states and the District of Columbia, agreeing to a comprehensive data security programme with independent assessments for 20 years. The company, operated by Ruby (formerly Avid Life Media), has continued to run the service since. We compare it in detail in Ohrny vs Ashley Madison.

3. Victoria Milan

Who it is for: married and attached people, which is how the site describes its audience.

What it does well: a clear focus, and on its website it advertises anonymity tools to anonymise your profile, verified profiles and a "supervised environment". You can try it for free.

Business model: a free trial, with paid features and credit offers mentioned on the site. The site names Nextlove Limited in Malta as its operator.

Keep in mind: we could not verify the details of its anonymity tools from official documentation, so test what other members actually see before uploading photos.

4. Feeld

Who it is for: people open to new kinds of relationships, including open relationships and ethical non-monogamy. Feeld describes itself as "a dating app for the curious".

What it does well: a culture that is openly accepting of non-traditional relationships, plus solid privacy tools. Its trust and safety page lists photo timers, videos that can be viewed once, screenshot prevention for images in chats (not videos) and optional blurring of unsolicited nude images. Optional photo verification confirms that members match their photos.

Business model: free to download, with an optional Majestic membership that includes incognito mode and private photos, which stay hidden from everyone except your connections.

Keep in mind: incognito and private photos are paid. Feeld's help centre notes that incognito no longer uses Facebook to decide who to hide you from. See Ohrny vs Feeld and our guide to ethical non-monogamy dating apps.

5. Pure

Who it is for: adults who want quick, casual encounters and like the idea of posting a short personal ad describing what they want. Pure calls itself an open-minded dating app for people 18 and over.

What it does well: ephemeral by design. According to its App Store listing, photos self-destruct right after being seen, chat photos and audio cannot be saved to the phone's gallery, and you are notified if someone takes a screenshot.

Business model: free to download, but a membership is needed to go online and chat, per the App Store listing. The developer is Online Classifieds AG.

Keep in mind: screenshot notification is not the same as blocking; you learn about it after the fact.

6. C-Date

Who it is for: adults looking for casual dating.

What it does well: a clear casual-dating focus, and its App Store listing says members decide which personal information they reveal.

Business model: free to download, but full functionality requires a Premium membership, according to the App Store listing. The developer is Interdate SA.

Keep in mind: C-Date's App Store privacy label says some data, such as identifiers and usage data, may be used to track you across other companies' apps and websites. If data sharing matters to you, read the privacy policy before signing up.

7. Tinder

Who it is for: almost everyone; it is a mainstream app, not a discreet one. It is on this list because of one strong privacy tool.

What it does well: Tinder's help centre describes a Block Contacts feature that lets you choose people from your phone contacts so that Tinder does its best to keep you from seeing each other. Tinder says it keeps only the contact details of the people you block. The pool is very large.

Keep in mind: clear photos and first names are visible to everyone you are shown to, which makes it a poor fit if being recognised is your main worry. More in Ohrny vs Tinder.

Which discreet dating app should you choose?

• You want hookups or affairs and your face is the main risk: an app with blurred photos and a mutual reveal, such as Ohrny.
• You want a service explicitly about affairs and value an established name: Ashley Madison or Victoria Milan, with an eye on what data you hand over.
• You are in an open relationship or exploring ENM: Feeld, or Ohrny's Open and Monogamish intent modes.
• You want something fleeting and ad-based: Pure.
• You only need to avoid a few specific people: a mainstream app with contact blocking may be enough.

Whichever you choose, the phone matters as much as the app: read how to hide a dating app on your phone, and our safety page before you meet anyone.

FAQ

What is the most discreet dating app?

It depends on what you need hidden. If you mainly want your face and name kept from strangers, an app with blurred photos, a mutual reveal and anonymous handles, such as Ohrny, offers the most protection by default. If you mainly want to avoid specific people, contact blocking matters most.

Are discreet dating apps safe?

They can be, but no app is risk-free. Choose apps with verification and reporting tools, avoid sending money or intimate images early, and meet in public first. Also look at a company's data track record and its business model.

Do discreet dating apps show up on bank statements?

Subscriptions bought through the App Store or Google Play usually appear under the store's name and in your purchase history. Some websites advertise discreet billing descriptors; check exactly what will appear before paying.

Is Ashley Madison safe to use now?

Ashley Madison suffered a major breach in 2015 and later agreed to a 20-year data security programme as part of an FTC settlement. Whether it suits you depends on how much personal information you are comfortable giving any service; using a handle, minimal details and hidden photos reduces your exposure anywhere.

Is Feeld a discreet dating app?

Feeld offers strong privacy tools, including incognito mode and private photos for paying members, screenshot prevention for chat images and photo timers. It is built mainly for open-minded and non-monogamous dating rather than affairs specifically.

Sources

• US Federal Trade Commission, "Operators of AshleyMadison.com settle FTC, state charges resulting from 2015 data breach" (December 2016) — https://ftc.gov/news-events/press-releases/2016/12/operators-ashleymadisoncom-settle-ftc-state-charges-resulting
• Wikipedia, Ashley Madison (ownership, history, credit model) — https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ashley_Madison
• DatingAdvice, Ashley Madison cost (credits, free for women) — https://www.datingadvice.com/online-dating/ashley-madison-cost
• DatingNews, Ashley Madison review (privacy tools, billing) — https://www.datingnews.com/dating-sites/ashley-madison/
• Victoria Milan website (audience, anonymity tools, operator) — https://www.victoriamilan.com/
• Feeld FAQ (Majestic, incognito, private photos) — https://feeld.co/about/faq
• Feeld Trust and Safety (photo timers, screenshot prevention, blur, verification) — https://feeld.co/the-app/trust-and-safety
• Feeld support, incognito and Facebook — https://support.feeld.co/hc/en-gb/articles/9406755132316
• PURE on the App Store (features, membership, developer) — https://apps.apple.com/kr/app/pure/id690661663?l=en-GB
• C-Date on the App Store (Premium, privacy label, developer) — https://apps.apple.com/ch/app/id1078584965
• Tinder Help Center, Block Contacts — https://www.help.tinder.com/hc/en-gb/articles/360039684672